Mein Kampf, in English: My Struggle, is a book by Adolf Hitler. It combines elements of autobiography with an exposition of Hitler's political ideology.

While I in NO WAY endorse Hitler's political ideology, I do like the title of his book. So I am borrowing his title for two reasons. Number 1, it provoked you to read this note. Number 2, this note will combine elements of my own autobiography and maybe a tidbit of an exposition on my own political ideology... which is the GOVERNMENT OF GOD. And by the way... yes, I meant that as a political statement and not just a religious statement. As Pastor Brian suggested tonight in his message "Struggling with God," all political ideology has it's roots in religious thought, and the policy that proceeds from that ideology is an attempt to conform the rest of the society to that particular set of religious beliefs... even if the religion is atheism (emphasis mine). Or something like that... but I agree.

So since my political views are shaped ultimately by this statement... "JESUS IS LORD" (or president if that sounds too religious for you to take it as I mean it)... all kinds of struggles arise for me and the people of God who subscribe to that political viewpoint. If we are to honestly and authentically look at the seemingly unjust rulership of a self-proclaimed righteous and just God... then it will always produce struggles and wrestling matches with God along the journey towards truth as long as evil continues to exist. In other words, if Jesus is really "president of presidents" like the Bible claims Him to be... why are such horrific and ugly events "allowed" to happen to good people who bring their lives under His governance by faith? It is a STRUGGLE, but a good struggle as Pastor preached on tonight, and I appreciate the honesty of that message.

I've had my own struggles as many of you know. I mean...my family is a good, moral, decent and CHRISTIAN family (now that I finally got with the program in 2003 I can say that haha). And for the most part, we have been very blessed with many gifts. But... there are still a couple of very large 800 lb. gorillas in the room that are fairly obvious to those of you who know us and our story. Two very tough STRUGGLES that we have had to endure, and at times they felt like I was wrestling with an 800 lb gorilla and getting my butt kicked. These two STRUGGLES were/are the seemingly premature (by my own estimation) deaths of two people in my immediate family. The devastating death of my 22 year old brother Jason in 1998 via car wreck, and the shockingly sudden death of my mom just 10 short months ago (three days after my son Jason was born). WHY GOD... WHY?

Although I still have no definite answer to that question, and although I don't know that I'll ever really be able to fully comprehend the complete ramifications of these life changing events on this side of the veil, I lately have been thinking about this scripture and the 8 others like it which refer to pottery in the Bible:

Isaiah 64:8 " Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

Do you remember art class in elementary school? Remember how we were really excited to start sculpting beautiful pottery during the clay unit? Yes! We couldn't wait for the final product of our creativity to give to mom and dad for Christmas. But... if the art teacher knew what he or she was doing... he/she first forced us to go through a rigorous "wedging" process where we had to essentially "beat" all of the air pockets out of the clay by crashing it into the table over and over so that whatever we were making wouldn't explode into a million pieces in the fiery trial ahead, otherwise known as the kiln.

Hmmm.... maybe our lives are like that. Maybe that is what's going on when God is "allowing" His people to take a beating and allowing them to be slammed over and over again onto the granite tables of life.

It seems that once people get a revelation of how God is all good and all loving, they often are eager to sign up for this thing called Christianity and then sprint into the Kingdom of God at full speed ahead because they have the end result of restored humanity on their minds. And because Faith in no way eradicates logic... the logic goes like this:

God = good
My life = bad (or at least empty of real meaning)
God + my life = Good and fulfilled LIFE!

And then... POW! Right in the nose. You do a face-plant straight into the ground, and the "wedging" process begins. And without a healthy perspective on the situation... all sorts of struggles with God begin to happen as the "doubt creep" settles in.

But here is the good news according to Jesus in John 10:10. I love the way the Message interprets this verse:

A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

The good news is that our Creator is a Master Artist. He does want to take the formless, shapeless, blobs of clay that we call our lives and mold them into something beautiful that remains forever. I love it. I've counted the cost. I've risked it all. I've bet everything that this is the end result for those who put their faith in the government of God through faith in Christ.

I'M ALL IN, trusting that whatever is resurrected on the other side of the kiln as it pertains to my life will be a beautiful, glorious, and completely unique masterpiece... and I will have become the person God always intended me to be, glazed with the image of Christ.

But... for that to happen there has to be some air pockets beaten out of me. This approach to the journey has satisfied many of the questions of WHY that I have wrestled with over the past 11 years. I have come to believe whole-heartedly that Romans 8:28 is true:

"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose."

I've believed it by faith, and I have now already seen that promise fulfilled beyond my wildest imaginations, and I know in my heart the best is yet to come. And this revelation has not come cheap. I've been broken, but I've been healed. I have wrestled with God and He has blessed me. And now He has raised me up and sent me limping forward into the light of the dawn... leaving behind in the dust the crippling questions of "why me?" so that I can discover the true answer on the other side of the kiln... "because I love you."

"Mein Kampf ist es wert"